5 Things I Miss Most About Australia

1. My friends and family (of course). Look, I know you all think I'm a hopeless case when it comes to this emailing, blogging business, but I assure you my reasons are sound. First and foremost is this: I can't read your blogspots or email as often as I should because it makes me too sad. I've decided the best way to avoid that ill feeling you get, that sinking stomach pain that comes with being away from the ones you love, is by avoiding being reminded of you every day. I know it's the coward's way out, but please take it with the good grace and flattery with which it is given. Secondly, and here comes the broken record again ... (haha) I really am pretty stretched. This week I'm working 11 days straight, and, selfish as it most certainly is, sleep is a precious commodity. Don't think I don't love you or that I don't want to know what's happening, but if I think about it too often I'll go completely mad.

2. On a more frivolous note, Kristos (from Tasmania) and I were salivating over the thought of decent cheese today. It's a hot topic of conversation in any circle. Decent cheese, or the lack thereof is a point of obsession for most of us. It's hard to believe that in a country so enamoured of yoghurt, cheese doesn't make it into their top ten. Good cheese is like gold, only edible. Test this for yourself by coming here only to find yourself practically fainting at the thought of some crappy Coon. Can't even think about Watsonia vintage without getting a little misty-eyed.

3. Grass. Now, it's not like Japan is devoid of natural charm, but somehow the concept of sitting in long, lush grass doesn't appeal quite as much as sitting perched on a concrete bench next to a scraggley patch of almost-grass.

4. While I'm sure I'll get a stream of derisive comments regarding my attitude to the following once you all read this next one, I nevertheless invoke an age-old adage: You never miss you water till your dry. Quite literally. I miss proper beaches. I do. I know I have some irrational fears when it comes to actually swimming, but just that feeling of sand between you toes, the sound of the waves crashing on the shore, and the thrill of a big wave sending you flying. I miss these things.

5. A big pub where everyone (or nearly everyone) knows you name. Round here the bars are teeny and you'd be lucky if someone can pronounce your name after vigorous repetition, let alone remember it for the next time. Even Mez seems to stump most. I have received letters and bills with "Miss" for a first name, "Mess" is another. That one's not so far off the mark, but it's the principle dammit. Just once I'd like to meet someone for the first time and not have them cock their head and stare at me blankly, waiting for me to write my name on a piece of paper so's they can mispronaounce it all over again the next time (after the same rountine).

5 points of Japanese wisdom

Some things I've noticed:
1. All announcements in Japan are made (or so it would seem) by the same person, who either took speech lessons from that godawful Fran Drescher (aka The Nanny), has severe nasal disfunctions of their own, or simply thinks it's hilarious to hold their nose while they're telling you the train will be delayed for 40 minutes because there's a snail on the tracks who simply won't budge.

2. Any attempts to move said snail in anything quicker than it's own time would be considered extremely discourteous unless snail was in line for the train, in which case he would be very wise to stand aside or risk being squished.

3. All queues for trains are sedate and orderly up until the exact moment the train pulls into the station, at which point chaos takes over and it's every commuter for themselves.

4. Even if something incredibly exciting happens during a typical day for any given Japanese person, they will not tell you about it even if you ask them directly, "Did anything exciting happen to you today?". Example, (Question as given), "no", real answer, extracted after much cajoling, "I saw accident, woman with many blood, I CPR, she lives". Aughhhhh!

5. Teaching under these circumstances is nothing short of frustrating and rib-tickling at the same time. It's definitely a love/hate thing. Most helpful rule of thumb: Don't take "no" for an answer and when someone says "nothing special" for their weekend plans, they're probably flying to the moon.

Tokyo Disneyland

...was, well, I have to admit I had fun in amongst all the cheese (soooo cheesy). But the rides weren't as good as I expected. I have to say I was a little disappointed with the number of "closed down for maintainence" signs posted throughout the park. Nevertheless, had a fantastic day, bought some seriously cheesy souvenirs, including a minnie mouse ears/hat combo, rode all the rides, even the shit ones, just for the hell of it, ate a whole lot of crap (almost made us both sick after the star wars ride), and took photos with Mickey and several of his frolicking friends. If the name of the game is tack-o-rama, Tokyo Disneyland fits the bill quite nicely, but for those of you out for rides that pump the adrenaline rather than churn the stomach, head to Dreamworld!

Next stop is Hong Kong, but not before a gruelling week of severe budget restrictions.

Don't think I've forgotten you Heatherbell, London and the Bub are still at the top of the agenda for next year, as is a week or so at home in Adelaide for anyone who's going to be there around my birthday, time to party! Would love to make it to Sri Lanka Vee, but how are you still going? I'm confused, on Pete and Geord's update last I heard you were headed to Cambodia...? As for you Leirui, don't worry, I'm sure I'll choke down a cocktail or two, if only to please you!

Pipi, please try to call soon if you can, or I'll call you, I need to work some stuff out with you regarding exciting November trip.

Like a Delicate Flower

Hmmm, perhaps not a flower today, but definately delicate. Ooh, my head hurts. Had a party in the park last night for Kate and Josh's going away drinks... I drank too much. I can't tell you how that happened. From what I can remember, the night started out fairly sedately, I came to the party well-equipped with my travelling bar (a cooler bag I bought from a 7-11 in Guam that provides esky-like protection), packed with ice, vodka, juice and soda. It was so good to see everyone, some of these girls (and some of the guys) are fast becoming really good friends. Steph is soooo funny, Meghan is as sweet as they come and Kate is just adorable, my ex-housemate Kelly was also there, as were two of my new favourits, Jeff and Lauren who are a riot. They all make the absence of my friends from home a little easier to bear.

Anyway, so was having much fun catching up with everyone, maybe got a little carried away and before I knew it ... one minute Meghan and I were playing the drunken "I love you" game. You know the one: "I love you soooo much", "no no, I love you so much"... the next minute I was riding my bicycle head first into a metre-wide concrete drain. I saw all these concerned faces above, maybe thinking I was dead, there was a bicycle on top of me and all I could think was how damn funny that must have looked. They were all so shocked I had to ask someone to pull the bike off me and help me out of the ditch. It took a minute to register with everyone, they were all looking extyremely concerned, which made the situation even funnier, as soon as they realised I was shaking with laughter, not tears, they all relaxed and joined in the hysterics. I wasn't hurt, miraculous considering, just a couple of bruises (what's new) and a scraped elbow, my poor bicycle basket fared worst, it's all mangled. So woke up this morning with sore ribs feeling vomitacious and decided, under the circumstances and remembering my last valient effort at work the day after a big night, to take a personal day. Sensible decision considering I have spent the majority of the day in the bathroom. Am never drinking again. Until next time.

More of Fuji

In my defense...

Hey, whoever's the gutless wonder who keeps making annonymous comments on my blogspot, lay off! Those photos were from a secondary source and cannot be made bigger. Soon I will have a cable through which I can transfer photos from a digital, but please be patient. For now, here's more "stupid" iddy biddy little photos just to piss a few people off!
Love you all.

Fuji photos

a few setbacks

Hello everyone, well, it's been a week of discoveries, some of them pleasant and some not so pleasant. As per usual, finances have been stretched to the limit, I now have a grand total of $3 to see me through to payday, which is diabolical enough, fortunately I will be paid on Friday.

However, when I get paid, it's pretty much all going to fly through my fingers before I even get the chance to sit down and appreciate not being destitute. I have my Hong Kong trip to pay off, bills and rent to pay, food to buy, blah blah blah. I also have to be mindful of the fact that I won't be paid again before Hong Kong so I must put aside spending money for that. All of this has led me to a desperate measure: Overtime. Ick, the very word evokes the deepest, darkest depression, working a 6 day week is nothing new to many people, but it's not an event I savour regardless. Speaking of Hong Kong, was miffed to find out that when Stu decided to come along at the last minute and was looking for a ticket on the internet he found one for $200 cheaper than mine. Hmph.

Anyway, enough pissing and moaning about money, and onto the neighbours. We seem to be living on top of one of those humourless old men who will not abide by anything as loud as a pin dropping on carpet. Ok, that's an exaggeration, but seriously, the guys a little temperamental to say the least. The other day I was hanging out the washing on our balcony, an awkward enterprise at the best of times, but is was late and I was tired, and I was trying to be as quiet as possible when suddenly the flyscreen came off it's rails and clattered onto the balcony. I realise the sound was startling, but it hardly deserved the uproar that followed. They guy downstairs started yelling and cursing in Japanese, then we heard him go next door to the landlord and repete said curses. Anticipating a visit from said neighbour and landlord, I promptly made myself scarce and let Stu go to the door to deal with the ramifications of this crisis. He decided to answer the door in only his pj bottoms, which he thought would intimidate them, bless, he's about 1 inch taller than me! of course he could do very little but nod and furrow his brow in a grave manner while the neighbour ranted and railed and the landlord attempted to translate in very broken English. Apparently we close our door too loudly (so does everyone, seeing as the doors seem to be as heavy as 3-inch steel while the walls are as thin as rice paper), that we walk to loudly (again, can't be helped when the floors shake if a mouse scampers accross the walkway), and that generally we were smelly, nasty gaijun (foreigners) who should get the hell out of his country. ha, isn't that funny, now I can hear him down below talking on his phone in a voice louder than I would dare to even if I knew he wasn't home. Grumpy old man.

A more pleasant surprise this week was discovering to whom one of my mystery commentaries belonged. The jig is up dad. Why I didn't think of you in the first place is strange, considering the alias you used. Who is Yanglerui anyway? I'm guessinga Chinese cadre of course, but alive or dead. I don't think you should be assuming a dead man's identity, bad karma you know.

The most disappointing discovery this week has been that instead of the Christmas in London I anticipated, I will be stuck over this side of the world, although hopefully not it Japan, but maybe South Korea, which is cheap they say, the cheapest place to get to anyway. I'm so sad about this, my hearts doing little flip flops everytime I think of all those wonderful people in London I could be spending New Years and Christmas with, especially of course Heatherbell and her new bub. Heather from whom I have not heard since I broke this terrible news, so I hope she's not so enraged she refuses to write to me. Please write to me Heather, tell me I haven't completely screwed up your plans. Of course I haven't completely screwed them up, but I still want to hear it from you please.

Vee, I knwo it's pathetic, but I only just looked at your blogspot the other day, it's bloody great, and they're all right, you do look fabulous with no hair, just as you always look fabulous.

Geordy and Pete, I hope everything is improving for you, I'm thinking of you.

Kels and Ben, I miss you and the little ones so much. I hope Charlie and Jack are feeling better and that you guys are able to find some time to relax in between studies and small-children-concerns.

Rachy Rach, I'm thinking of you too darling, how's the new house?!

Nadsie my love, our little workaholic, take a break every now and then ok? I love you.

Webby and Al, I hope Damo's idol dreams are coming true, I'm so sorry, but I can't help in the voting, Japan's mobile coverage is really weird compared to the rest of the civilised world... I'll explain all at a later date. Tell him good luck from me, even though we've never met I'm sure he'll be the best idol to date, considering he actually can write his own stuff.

Jacksie, thankyou for the emails honey, they always brighten my day. Tell Simon I'm doing fine and that I can't wait to be back down at Yorks again sometime soon!

To all the Lamb clan, what's up? I miss you, and I can't wait to see (some of) you very very soon. Pipi, my mind keeps ticking over all the things we can do when you get here, It'll be cold, but it'll be awesome, yeehah!

That's it for now, write more soon, and keep the comments coming, I love imagining the voices behind them.

Fuji, ha, I laugh in your mountain face!

Well, well, well my fabulous fellow bloggers, I'm back, refreshed and (almost) completely over my various Fuji and pre-Fuji ailments. Actually the climb itself, although lengthy, was by no means arduous because of the unbelievably, excrutiatingly, frustratingly slow pace at which our guide (who did not smile once the entire time) took us up the 3776m mountain. We didn't even start at the bottom, but on the 5th station, all of 1400m from the top. Mind you, because of my slight fever and cough and snotty nasal passage, I was feeling a little worse for wear before we began.

As I said, the climb itself was not physically demanding, the hard part was preventing severe frostbite in the instance of my foolhardy underpreparedness. I had with me a rain poncho I bought for $1, a thin jumper, some fingerless gloves, a beanie (cheers Vee), a scarf (brilliant Webby), some trackie pants and a long-sleeved t-shirt. Fortunately, before I could actually pass out from cold in temperatures of 2 degrees and a howling gale which bit right through to the core of my good-natured self-deprecation, Stu leant me pretty much all he was wearing. Being as he is an English lad who refuses to acknowledge freezing temperatures even as they turn his skin the blue-grey colour of hypothermia, he had no qualms in doing so. Stupiddity or obstinacy? I can't be sure what drove him to such extreme acts of chivalry...

The sunrise itself was, shall we say, unspectacular, our vision was marred by cloud cover and in the end we only caught glimpses of the red sun rising above what we can only imagine was a lovely bed of clouds (we couldn't see them, being as they were about 200m below us, and getting too close to the edge posed the inevitable risk of being blown away Cherry Bobins-style).

Anyway, the descent was blissfully quick, we powered ahead, practically running, but mainly sliding down the volcanic scree all the way back to the fifth station. Even as we closed in on 3500m, the temperature was mercifully warmer, by the time we passed the eighth station, my fingers had almost completely defrosted and I was regaining the feeling in my nose and lips. Having spent the night climbing and then 2 hours sliding back down a prehistoric volcano, we then headed to a hot spring to completely thaw out, then had a massive buffet lunch (all-inclusive, bless) before gratefully clambering back onto the bus and snoring all the way back to Osaka.

All in all, the experience was one I will always appreciate, but I would be lying if I said it was the best 24 hours of my life.

Love you all, keep the comments coming, they always buck my spirits! Next stop, Tokyo Disneyland, in 2 weeks, I can't wait.

Hello possums!

Well, after a none-too-subtle rebuke from my darling sister I thought I'd better put a little something on here, just to keeps the wolves at bay. Only problem is that my computers seems to be having spasms and cannot handle me typing at such a almarmingly speedy rate. Keep up you stupid machine! Shirahama last week was fantastic, Australian (white) sand and all. Spent thye time lazing on the beach and wandering through the town that was almost all closed up for the end of summer. Such a funny place is Japan when it comes to rules, they're real sticklers. A megaphone would sound out at 5pm at which point everyone would exit the ocean in an orderly fashion, shower and dress in their yukata in time for an early dinner before fireworks were let off on the beach, by anyone and everyone, at promptly 10pm, then everyone would be in bed by midnight.

You can imagine, then end of the swimming season in Japan means just that, no-one, and I mean no-one, dips a toe in the ocean from the 1st of September, right through to the 1st of June the next year. it's just not done people.

Mt Fuji tomorrow, wish me luck because I have a cold (torture in this infernal heat), and am worried I might find it hard reaching the top (have you seen this mountain, no such thing as a gradual, undulating incline, it's straight up, no dilly-dallying, afterall, we have to see the sunrise at precisely 4:30 am, no sooner, no later! Wish me luck babies! Love you guys, and can someone (ahem) give me a break re updates, I'm doing the best I can here!